There is nothing sweeter than the bond of brotherhood, except that of twins. Being a twin myself, I remember all to well the bond I shared with my brother, although it didn’t stop me from sometimes wishing I had a sister twin, instead of a brother. When I first found out I was pregnant with twins, I was overjoyed. I thought it would be great to have same sex twins. It took me a few months to let it sink in that having boy/girl twins was just as special and in my case, it made me realize that I could relate to their needs and the differences, much better than most other moms.
Right from the start my husband and I could see the special bond that was forming between our twins. At night, we would lay each twin at different ends of the crib and every morning we would find them slumped together. Later, when we put them in separate cribs, they quickly learned that they could climb out of their cribs and walk/crawl across their dresser (which was in between the two cribs) and climb into each other’s cribs. They just liked being together.
They had formed a bond so strong between each other, that they also learned how to be each other’s crutch. When Zachary had trouble forming words for things he wanted, Sarah would jump in and tell us what it was. Sarah had some anxiety issues and Zachary was a calming presence in her life. They needed each other. When they were due to start kindergarten, I received a phone call from the principal asking if we wanted them to be in the same classroom or separated. I quickly said the same classroom.
It was great having them in the same classroom, from a mother’s perspective. I always knew what was going on with them, from homework assignments to class trips, between the two of them I knew more than I needed to know. They also protected each other, defended each other, and leaned on each other for support. I thought it was one of the best decisions we had made keeping them together in school.
Then, two years ago, without calling me the school decided to separate Sarah and Zachary. They went through several bouts of anxiety of whether they could handle being separated from each other. I told them I could call the school and try to get them back together in the same room or they could give it a try and see how it worked out. I must admit I was worried about it too. The funniest thing about it was that Sarah wrote a letter to Highlights magazine (it went something like this – Dear Highlights, My twin brother and I are being separated this year in school for the first time. What should we do?), I guess she just wanted to get her feelings out there without having to express them specifically with us or get another’s opinion that wasn’t directly involved with the situation.
Sarah and Zachary decided to stick it out and on the first day of school, they walked off to different classrooms. It was hard at first, but they adjusted well. They each made new friends. They did well with their assignments. And they both learned to cope and grow without each other. Overall, it turned out to be a great experience for them. They are separating on their own and becoming their own individual persons. But the bond that was there from the beginning is still there. They still lean on each other, despite doing different things. They support each other, as well as fight with each other, much like all siblings do. But there will always be a bond that will never be broken. I’m glad we kept them together during those formative years. It was a great decision and one I would chose again, if given the choice.
Be sure to stop by Half A Dozen Kids today and say hi to Charlene!