This month I had the pleasure to interview a good friend and neighbour who is an awesome dad to twin boys, Neil Ward from Multiverse Madness. On Neil’s blog, he shares his a ‘brief story’ over two parts of how things transpired on their family Surrogacy Journey from 2010 until mid 2012 when the Ward family twin boys arrived. So without further introduction please enjoy Neil’s article as featured blogger:
Twins and Surrogacy: A Dad’s Perspective…
I began to blog when I realised that there was not a lot of “Dad Info’ out there. A lot of frustrations of asking for information on parenting sites were getting more emotional responses that were less than pleasant to say the least. I needed a place where Dads were understood when it came to asking for information, not opinions, and hence my blog was born out of this trials and tribulations.
Our journey is a bit different since we chose to do Surrogacy in India in late 2011 and into 2012. We knew there was an 80% plus chance of having multiples, but were still stoked when we found out.
I think this pretty much sums up our experience for the pregnancy. These two blog posts share our journey of our Surrogacy process. We were always in the loop with every test, ultrasound and doctors report. On top of this we Skyped every week with our surrogate to see how both she and the babies were doing (we didn’t know their sex until they were born).
Twins and Surrogacy: Our Journey – Part 1
Twins and Surrogacy: Our Journey – Part 2
I was made redundant in November of 2015 from a State Managers position that I had worked my way up to in just under ten years. In the three months since this happened, my world has been turned upside down. I made the big decision in early January that has changed my life and I have now almost finished setting up my own company. The reason I did this was to mainly have a better life / work balance and to be able to spend more times with my boys. It’s great knowing that I can go see, or participate, in what my boys are currently doing.
My first opportunity to participate was playing Santa last Christmas at the boys Day Care Centre. That would never have come about if I was still stuck in an office and that cemented the idea to find something that worked for my family and not somebody else.
I did an eleven (11) part series on exactly this topic on my blog —> Tips on becoming a Dad to Multiples – http://wp.me/p4qb4K-32
This series was ‘in preparation’ of more than a ‘once you get home’ concept. There is a lot more ‘mental and emotional preparation’ that is required and we just floundered our way through until I decided to share these experiences with other parents.
I’ve had a lot of Dads read this after the fact and say they wished they had been able to read it with their wife during the pregnancy.
My personal favourite blog post is this one —> http://wp.me/p4qb4K-6
While its by no means one of my most popular posts, it is the very first blog I ever did. It was all the reasons why I was putting my effort into blogging and at the same time, it was a personal commitment to my boys in hopefully helping them become better men and Dads than I am.
I founded the ‘Multiple Dads Sanctuary’ group on Facebook in January 2014. This group is a place where Dads can share, vent, learn and get support from other Multiple Dads. Its now just over 2 years later and we are about to surpass the 1000 Dads mark! Considering I was aiming to only find 30-50 local Dads to connect with, I am stoked that we have gone international and now have Dads from places like the UK, Ireland, New Zealand, Japan, Brazil, France, Germany, all over Australia and many more.
The diversity of talented Dads ranges from Doctors, solicitors, tradies, psychologists, veterinarians, self employed and truckies through to SAHD, police just to name a few. The depth of help is actually quite staggering. It’s also a place when Dads exchange a lot of information about their parenting success and Daddy fails on a daily basis. From relationship struggles to bereavements and beyond. Since mid 2015, the group has now been listed as an official support group for AMBA (Australian Multiple Birth Association)
I have also write for the AMBA Magazine, am an occasional guest on 612ABC Parenting Panel, and have been been published in places like Twinversity and Essential Baby (se interview link below), to get the word out to encourage and support other Dads who want to be more hands on.
Link —> Essential Baby
Contact Neil Ward here firstname.lastname@example.org