I Went To Grab Her Hand, but She Wasn’t There…
There are so many tiny little turns that occur every day in my house…probably yours too. These tiny little turns can suddenly alter the outcome of our day, our week, our month, our year, or our life. Most of the time, they go our way…
Sometimes they don’t…
The Crazies were exhausted from a weekend away. They woke up late from their naps and I let them. I knew how tired they were and we didn’t have anywhere to be. They woke up slowly…their sleepy little heads embedded in their pillows…their reluctance to let go of their lovies…their quiet little voices that you only get to hear when they first get up.
Then Daddy got home. I was ready for all hell to break loose like it normally does, but they were unmoved. Were they happy to hear his voice? Yes. Were they jumping around like maniacs? No. They were more than happy to listen to him greet them from downstairs.
He came up and they were a little more interested. Matt started grunting at him from his crib (his new greeting) and Hailey’s little smile got all scrunchy when he came over to see her. We finally got them out of bed and ready to head down for a little snack before dinner.
Matt went down with Daddy, but Hailey needed her diaper changed (at least that’s what she told me…it wasn’t really true).
We still have a gate at the top of our stairs because I am a little freaky about stairs. We have hardwood stairs and hardwood floors and not much is stopping them if they fall besides our front door…ouch. The Crazies have been traversing the stairs for a good 6 months now, but I typically get on the first step before them and “spot them” while they’re negotiating the gate. It’s a little tricky, but they do really well with it.
Somehow, Hailey got on the stairs before me and as I went to grab her hand or the back of her shirt or anything, she was gone.
She was just gone.
My sweet little girl…in her navy shirt with colored hearts and jeans…with her soft blond hair…with her loving “Daddy smile”…and her quiet little voice…was tumbling down the stairs head over heels and there wasn’t one damn thing I could do to stop it.
I wasn’t able to see very much, as it happened so fast. The one glimpse I did catch was her beautiful little face smashing into one of the very hard wood steps. All I could do was yell for Husband…nothing else.
I don’t do helpless very well.
Husband got to her fast and picked her right up. For some reason I was upset at this because in my head (which has been brainwashed by various hospital television programs), you’re not supposed to move her. What was the alternative though? Let her lie on the hardwood floor scared out of her mind at the bottom of the stairs? Nope…he went with his gut.
I followed them around the house completely helpless like a lost puppy…he soothed her, she cried, he asked her where it hurt, she cried, he checked out her tiny little body with his hands, she told him that her “finger was okay.”
Yes, she had a cut on her finger that has finally healed.
Matt got upset. He brought me a piece of the gate that had broken…guess it shifted when she went over and that’s what caused her to lose her balance. I picked him up. It was all I could do.
Once it was apparent that she was okay, I tearfully asked Husband if I could hold her (like I pushed her down the stairs and was asking for forgiveness or something). He handed her over and she told me her face hurt and she needed ice.
After that, we continued to evaluate her for any signs of head injury, memory loss, slurred speech, dilated pupils, and all the other really scary stuff that we’re all ready to do on a daily basis. She was fine.
She was absolutely fine, needed ice in her sippy, and she needed a snack.
Our whole life could have changed with a simple reversal…Hailey going down the stairs before me.
These are the little turns that scare me the most…a child putting a snack cup on the counter right next to the stove (which happens to be on the highest setting boiling water, of course), a last minute hand coming down when a child loses his balance right before his teeth hit the porcelain, a cutting board that is pulled off the counter leaving the knife behind, the last minute grab of a baby as they roll off the changing table. Accidents happen…they’re scary as can be, but they happen.
My posts are usually upbeat and humorous, but this really struck me as something that we all go through on a daily basis. I’m sure that there is some mother out there reading this whose child will go to preschool with a nasty shiner tomorrow…oh wait…that’s me!