Lucky us at Multiples and More but we have another Featured Blogger this week! Please welcome Fiona from The Morse Code! Fiona is a mum to two gorgeous twin girls called Adriana and Gabriella. You can follow her on Instagram here @themorsetwins
I always felt like I wanted to write a blog but to be honest pre twins I probably didn’t have anything interesting to say. I was very career focused and dare I say it had become quite single minded on succeeding. About six months after having my girls I really just thought “It’s now or never”. I texted my best friend asking her what she thought of my idea to start a blog, fully expecting her to say it was silly and she toldme to go for it! Her encouragement pushed me over that edge and now I couldn’t imagine not writing it, or having writing in my life. It makes me feel content and I love that.
I don’t think anything can prepare you for finding out your having a multiple pregnancy. I’d spent years saying I didn’t want children, and when I finally realised I did I knew the process of being pregnant was something I’d struggle with so had always assumed we would have just one child. I can still remember seeing two on the screen and knowing what I was looking at but waiting for the sonographer to confirm it. I replay that moment in my mind every day because it was just so amazing.
It was my 13 week dating scan. My husband joked in the waiting room about how funny it would be if we saw seven and I said it definitely wouldn’t be. The sonographer called us in and started scanning, and I told her what my husband had just said. She put the scan on the screen and said “Well I can’t see seven but look what I can see!” I asked her what and she said it’s twins. I looked across to my husband and he just had this look on his face of shock, disbelief and utter excitement. I still get emotional when i remember seeing him like that.
My parents lived abroad at the time so en route to my husband’s family I rang them and told them it was twins. They were visiting my aunt and grandma so my mum put them on loud speaker so everyone could hear. My dad went very quiet and then said all he could see were pound signs bless him! My brother told me to f off because he thought I was teasing him. When we got to my in-laws we showed them the scan and they didn’t twig that there were two babies marked A and B. My husband and I started to laugh then showed them the two separate sacs and they started to cry. We then texted all our friends to share our news, it was so wonderful to let everyone share in our excitement.
As multiple pregnancies go I was incredibly lucky. I experienced no morning sickness although I had very occasional nausea and I didn’t really have a bump until about 24 weeks. I did have a bout of gastroenteritis which knocked me a bit and I fainted once but the first two trimester were ok. I’m a nurse so on my feet all day and my team were fab letting me do lighter duties. I made it to 34 weeks in work before my back physically couldn’t take any more and in the last month I became extremely swollen. I had a Doppler to check for a dvt and begged my consultant to induce me at 38 weeks because they wanted to leave me slightly longer. I had the girls via emergency C section at 38+4.
There are so many rule books for babies but the only people who really know multiples are parents of multiples. Throw out the rule books and do what works best for you as an individual and as a team. Remember that if you have a partner to work as a team and if you are on your own know that you are doing enough. In those times where your babies cry and you feel like a terrible parent because you don’t think you can split yourself know that it will be ok, and your children are still loved. Don’t beat yourself up about things you can’t control and focus on what you can. I have found a wonderful community on Instagram who I can turn to for advice; and always remember that no phase lasts forever.
So I guess that the most poignant for a multiples site is “The Things People Say…” which is about the fascination of strangers surrounding multiples. I know people are curious and they never intend to be rude but there are always questions and stares, loud whispers and getting stopped in the street. Sometimes It’s nice, and other times it can be exhausting. I wrote a post about it, really as a bit of light hearted fun but also just to remind some thateven multiples mums and dads deserve a little privacy!
Parenting can be frustrating. Children are very demanding of attention -especially babies. With twins, there …