Do They Get Along Well?

How many times have I heard that question?
People generally ask it while we’re in the grocery store, the Crazies are sharing a cart, and they’re practicing their headbutting.  They’re like black belts at headbutting…don’t get jealous.
Oh, and the people who ask, they’re so hopeful…so innocent…and so deflated when my answer is “no.”
It’s true…
I’m honest…
I cannot tell a lie…
Bahahahahaha…I lie all the time (shhhh…don’t tell anyone).
I can’t lie about this.
The Crazies DO NOT get along well.
Do people really expect them to?
Matt was kicking Hailey in the ribs in the womb.  His tush was lodged directly on the top of her head and he would repeatedly kick her in the stomach!  I seriously worried that he would cause her some sort of damage as it never stopped…for 38.5 weeks!  It was crazy!
Here’s the thing though…do people ask non-twin mothers the same question?  Or do they have the wherewithal to know that siblings do not get along all the time?  Do they realize that just because relatives have known each other for a while, doesn’t mean that they’ll be BFFs right off?  
Ummm…hello?  Family is the “other f-word” in some houses, right?
Does anyone else get this question?  Am I the only MoM who doesn’t have buddy-buddy twins?  Does anyone else have twins/triples/quads/sibling who routinely put on the Saturday Night Show for the WWF???
Are there moments?  Brief glimmers of hope that make me believe that they won’t pummel each other to death?  Yes…there are tiny little moments that make me catch me breath as they hold hands, help each other with a task, or hug.  Those moments are rare and lovely.  I hold onto them like a person stranded in the desert would hold onto a single drop of water.
When I’m not trying to suck that drop of water out of the cactus, I’m playing referee…and as thirsty as I am, I am happy.
This is my family…we are not perfect…please don’t expect us to be.
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22 comments

  1. So glad to know I am not alone!! I have boy/girl 2 year old twins and they fight like cats and dogs! My son, however, if he is alone he is constantly asking for "sissy". My daughter never mentions her brother when he is gone!(-: I had someone tell me one time that twins are supposed to be the best of friends and then she said, what happened to your's?? Umm….thanks. Oh the joys! (-:

  2. My triplets are only 4 months old, but they kicked eachother like crazy in the womb… so I guess if that's an indicator, I may have some future brawlers. WWF or not, your twins are adorable!

  3. I just about cried from laughing so hard… I just posted on Facebook tonight about our crazy trip to Target today and how I'm sick and tired of people who think having multiples is all rainbows and smiles!!! I read this and thought… WOW we must have had the same kind of day! ; ) I'm a SAHM of a 10 yr old singleton and 2.5 yr old GBB Triplets and let me tell you… There's ALWAYS fighting, wrestling, pushing, biting, screaming, crying and the occasional hug, kiss and loving between them going on also!!! I burn the lovable times they share in my memory and take TONS of pictures (as proof they really do love each other for later… when they claim they don't) and I try to not sweat the daily "ROUGH" times!!! Thankfully for my family, we've been blessed with many multiple families in our area who understand our "crazy" life and don't get their feelings hurt if we can't always do stuff with them! Those are the friends you keep very close to you and you hold tight. I've realized that as much I think I need them, that they actually need me just as much! : ) Ladies, we got picked to do an AMAZING job and the job was only given to the strong! When those days seem rough… Just remember not everyone is as special and as blessed as we are!!! : )

  4. Heather (One Take On Life)

    I think it is odd that people ask if your twins get along. I wouldn't think to ask that, I guess.

    My kids are 4 years apart, they love each other. I can see it daily. Does that mean they always get along? Nope, daily I also hear whining from one or the other about how he did this, she did that.

    That is normal sibling behavior. I do expect more from the older one, because he eggs her on.
    With twins, and 2 year olds I would expect that they would have sibling fights and probably more of them, because they are the same age.

  5. This is such a great post. My 9 month old twins are constantly going at it, stealing stuff from eachother and knocking eachother out.

    Did you see the new show on lifetime about the identical quads? Only 2 episodes have aired, but so far it seems like the Durst quads are constantly fighting, but the get along in a wierd way. It's been fun to watch.

  6. I'm already getting that question and my twin girls are only 6 months! My answer is that they've figured out how to steal toys from one another, so that's probably not a good sign.

    The other thing I find funny is the people in the grocery store that feel the need to say "one's sleeping and one's not…that's weird." As if twins always do things at the same time. I'd like to invite those people to my house at naptime 🙂

  7. In our house it's about 50/50 with our 2.75 year olds. When they are getting along, it's so sweet to watch the love they have for each other and their big sister. The help each other, play together and just melt my heart. When they fight though, watch out! One is a biter and leaves serious marks and the other rips handfuls of hair out of her sister's head. We were worried for awhile that she'd be bald. No joke. WWF indeed. I call it smackdown when I describe it to people.

  8. MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs)

    This is definitely on the list of questions I get all the time from random people, asking about the girls. Our girls basically do "get along", but I figure – what choice do they have? 🙂 Like it or lump it, girlies! 🙂

  9. Last night Arianna pulled a chunk of Genevieve's hair out (and there's not a lot of hair to pull from) over some toy she quickly forgot about. I know your pain. People forget that twins are not two magical beings. … they're siblings who just share a birth date. When my sister was 3 my mom caught her trying to suffocate my other sister (2) with a pillow as she slept. … are my girls expected to behave any differently? I'd actually be more concerned if they did embody the angelic attributes strangers want to assign to them.

  10. oh my goodness, I feel like a referee more than a mom sometimes with mine! yikes! I love this post, it's exactly how I feel!

  11. great point about how non-multiple families aren't usually asked the same question – sibling rivalry is a given!

    I can say this…while they certainly still have their squabbles, fights, hits, kicks and tantrums – I think it gets a lil better as they get older as they (1) learn to use words better and not just their actions (2) they start to do their own thing more often and (3) they start learning/understanding better ways to manage their frustration.

    I know at this point, my 2 year old son hits, head butts, etc more than the 4 year old twins do. Not that they don't do it too…but just not as often any more…

  12. Yes, that is one of the questions I always get too! Just because they are twins does make everything all sunshine and rainbows! I guess they don't consider them siblings?!?! I know I fought with my sibling until we were are adults, but that only stopped the physical fighting! We still exchange not so nice words every now and then! Of course I hope they do end up having that great twin bond I have heard so much about! 🙂

  13. Phew – neither do mine. Add in that I have A in the mix, they do not know they are twins or that there should be some special bond there, the three of them are all either friends or enemies.

  14. thelittlelilypad

    My twins fight more than my three other children combined! I think its to be expected as they are the same age, always want the same thing at the same time, and are good matches physically in the boxing ring!

  15. Mama Mama Quite Contrary

    I'm so glad to read this. Not because you are suffering from the fighting but because it means that *I* am not alone. My girls just turned two and the repeated yelling of "MINE!" or "SPACE!" (as in "get out of my face") is making me nutso!

  16. Of course they don't always get along. They are sisters- that information alone should be enough. 🙂
    I'm in the same boat as Cindy- I have one biter who leaves some serious marks and I am currently glad it isn't short sleeved shirt weather!

  17. My identical girls could not be more different! They never snuggle and always kick, hit, bite and more. Rarely they'll play nicely together. I'm hoping things improve. They'll be 2 in three months.

  18. Mine get along better now that they're older. They really had me scared when they were little though. Sometimes the fights would involve kids rolling around on the floor while hitting, biting, or pulling hair. They still don't get along any differently than any other siblings, only now they tend to pair off. lol

  19. As I was reading the comments, I realized that my sister-in-law that has B/G twins that will be 1 in a couple of months has no idea this is coming. She has an older daughter that will be 4 and other than that she has very little experience with young children. I would try to warn her, but she thinks I live in a different world so doesn't listen to any of the advise I have to give so I gave up a long time ago. This is going to shock her for sure.

  20. Mine love each other – a lot, but that doesn't mean there aren't fights!

  21. I do not have multiples, but have enjoyed reading this blog and will check in often.

  22. My GG twins are in constant competition with each other and can fight like crazy. I did not grow up with a sister so I wondered if it was a sister thing or what??? They do love each other at times. However, any stranger loves to tell us the teenage years will be even more of a challenge. Really?! is all I can say.

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